ONLY REMEMBERED FOR WHAT WE HAVE DONE (A Tribute To My Teacher)

* This is the script of a speech that I gave as a tribute to my teacher who passed away (2022).

My teacher who taught me Sociology in 11th and 12th STD passed away this month on August 3rd. She was forty four, and an alumni of St.Teresa's from the Sociology department. Everything that I'm about to say is a tribute to my teacher who loved me and did much for me.

Her name was Boney Ma'am and she was very special to me. Being her student for two years, receiving so much of her love and becoming intimate with her has taught me some important lessons that I came to realize only after her death. These are the thoughts that I would like to share with everyone today.

It is only now, as the memories of those two years came flooding back to me afresh, that I've come to comprehend how precious my teacher was to me, how much she did for me back then and the depth of the gratitude and love I have for her.

In 11th std, as a new student, I was terribly shy and quiet. I know I'm still shy now, but back then in the beginning of that year I was so withdrawn that I would hardly speak a single word to anyone. I was cocooned in my own shell all the time, but right from my very first day at that school, Boney Ma'am took me under her wing. She was so kind and loving to me, and her love was so precious because there was never a time when I needed it more. I took a very long time to make friends and to feel like I belonged in my new school. It used to be very difficult for me to bond with people and to demonstrate any friendship or affection, but my teacher treated me with great kindness, warmth and understanding, without expecting me to respond in the same way. If she ever saw me sitting alone anywhere, she would come and talk to me and somehow she behaved like she loved talking to me even though I never said much in the beginning. And I remember that she would sometimes hug me without any reason. 

Boney Ma'am never missed any opportunity to show me that she loved me. For a long time, I was so quiet and withdrawn that I often seriously felt like I was invisible in school, and it was my teacher's untiring, persistent friendship and affection that made my life there for a large part of that year much happier than it would otherwise have been. 

She was very encouraging of my writing and I would show her all of my new poems. She would often make me recite them aloud in class, and once or twice she asked me when I would write a poem about her. After Boney Ma'am heard me speak during a class presentation, she tried hard to get me to talk publicly on stage on different occasions. But I would refuse each time and would not budge, no matter how much she tried to coax me and encourage me into doing it. I have always loved public speaking, but at that time I was too afraid to expose myself to the risk that would inevitably come with speaking before an audience in my new school. 

The second year, when I finally settled down and came out of my shell, Boney Ma'am had a serious talk with me about participating in the school's programs and activities. She asked me what she could do to finally get me to try something and I told her I would speak publicly if I could do a declamation of a famous speech in history. All my life, I've secretly loved oratory and I even used to recite historic speeches at home in front of my mirror. When Ma'am heard this, she said I could do a declamation of Nehru's Tryst With Destiny for our Independence Day program. The responsibility for hosting the celebrations actually went to the 6th std students and Boney Ma'am being their class teacher was in charge of organizing it. And even though it was only the students of her class who were supposed to be performing that day, she created that opportunity specially for me and let me have my chance along with them. But both my teacher and I were apprehensive of how I would do and she went out of her way to help me prepare. She took me to an empty classroom and I practiced my speech there. After I finished she would clap for me enthusiastically though we were all alone, and tell me there were goosebumps on her arms. She made me say it twice before my own class and finally she even took me to the huge auditorium where the actual event would be held and took great pains to listen to me practice again. When I finally performed the declamation on stage, it was a grand success and Boney Ma'am could not have been prouder or happier. She even called my mother secretly and told her that I had done a great job. My teacher had faith in me and what I could do, even when I found it difficult to muster up the courage to believe in myself. 

After that I spoke publicly quite a few times but I was still quite fearful and reluctant to try new things despite being encouraged to do so. It is only recently in the span of a year that I began taking risks and stepping out into the unknown. I've changed a lot from those days and I've done things I would have never imagined I could do. But I wish Boney Ma'am could have seen it all and enjoyed the fruit of her labour because I never got to share the last two years of my life with her or tell her everything that had happened to me. I had made plans to visit her after learning that she was sick, but she died before I could see her and talk to her and I really do wish that I could meet her just one more time.

But when I thought about it, I realized that it is not possible to hold on to the people we loved at various times in our lives, forever. We can only love, cherish and then let go. This is a difficult truth about life and perhaps some day in another world, it will finally make sense to us and our longings, heartaches and emptiness will be quenched and the purest joys of love eternally restored. 

All of us have either experienced death or will undoubtedly face it in the future. Recently, as I was reading something that one of our classmates wrote, a particular sentence struck me as being very profound. She said that she had 'underestimated' death. It is when my teacher died and I too had an encounter with death, that I understood the deep meaning behind this statement. All the people in this world live as if they are immortal. From our very childhood, we are groomed for the future and our adult lives as if the things we are chasing are imperishable and permanent. Money, status, fame, material accomplishments– we strive for them as if there is nothing more important in life. But in the face of death, all else pales and fades into oblivion. I found that death and its cold, grim finality makes a mockery of everything that the world holds most dear– riches, fame, honour and achievements. It laughs at and triumphs over all of these. But there is just one thing and only one that alone can outlive and outlast death. And that is love. There is a line from a marvel series that many of you must have watched: "What is grief, but love persevering?" Even our sorrow at a person's death is a powerful expression of our love for them, thereby proving that death can do nothing to eliminate love even after it has vanquished everything else. Elizabeth Elliott said, "Love knows no limits to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; It can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that stands when all else has fallen!"

I also found, after my teacher's death, that the greatest legacy you can leave behind on this earth is the good that you have done toward others. At the time of death, it is unlikely that anyone will remember or give great importance to what you have accomplished– your degrees, your salary, your possessions etc. But you certainly will be remembered for the ways in which you touched people's lives. The lines of a famous song written to remember those who fell in the 1st World War, go like this, 

"Fading away like the stars in the morning,

Losing their light in the glorious sun.

Thus would we pass from this earth and its toiling,

Only remembered for what we have done.

Only the truth that in life we have spoken,

Only the seed that in life we have sown.

These shall pass onward when we are forgotten,

Only remembered for what we have done."

And then the last verse begins, "Who’ll sing the anthems and who’ll tell the story?"

Today, I am singing the anthem of my teacher's life and telling her story because of all that she did for me. When I thought back upon my memories of her, I was struck by one thing. Usually although we will have many happy and joyful memories of the people in our lives, there will also be a few sad or hurtful memories that creep into our minds. But I was surprised to find that whenever I thought of Boney Ma'am and our moments together, I only remember feeling happy, safe and loved. She had given me nothing but love, kindness and joy. 

I thought then that this was a beautiful legacy to leave behind after your death. If the people in our lives can say that they only have memories of how we loved them, brightened their lives and warmed their hearts, that is a great and admirable accomplishment. This is a noble and worthy goal to strive towards and although I know I am far from it, this is what I hope to fulfill in my life. For at the end of it all, all of us are going to be remembered only for what we have done, in the lives of others.